My Heart Will Go On
by localkinegrindzYUM
Summary: A oneshot/song-fic to Celine Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On'. Susan and Caspian live out their years, the shadow of the past and their love never leaving their thoughts and dreams. Suspian. R&R!


**Hey guys, heres a one-shot sort of fic to Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On, for some reason this song just spoke volumes to me for Suspian. Idk this might be a little long, maybe even tedious, but id really appreciate it if u gave it a chance and read it all the way through…and then…well yes, I would appreciate some feedback, I tried really hard on this one and it took me some thought etc. etc. as u guys must know much thanks!!**

**Every night in my dreams**

**I see you, I feel you,**

**That is how I know you go on**

_His mouth was curved into a crooked grin as he reached toward her face, a question in his brooding eyes. The sun highlighted his face as his expression morphed to one of utmost tenderness, and she sighed. The birds were singing and perhaps someone was calling for her presence, but she heard nothing. She felt her breath grow ragged, and her eyes fluttering shut as she anticipated the warmth of his touch, the roughness of his gentle hands…It didn't come._

Susan sat up gasping desperately as she glanced wildly about the room, grasping her location. She wasn't with him. She sighed and brought a hand to her cheek, it glowed with the heat of a blush and Susan closed her eyes, fervently trying to remember her dream. It'd been a week since they'd returned from Narnia, and every night she was visited by Caspian, a man she tried to convince herself she could forget. Cradling her head in her hands in exasperation Susan shifted on her bed, the springs creaking softly beneath her. Gathering her hair over one shoulder she faced her open window where both wind and moonlight filtered in. With a sigh she drew her knees to her chest, settling against the peeling wallpaper and dissolving in her thoughts.

She hadn't even known him that long, hadn't spoken for hours on end with him-and yet she felt an undeniable bond, somewhere, in some time, she was sure he was thinking of her too.

**Far across the distance**

**And spaces between us**

**You have come to show you go on**

She couldn't explain the change in her dreams, it had been two weeks now since their return and there was something off in her evening hallucinations. It had once been her who Caspian would reach to for an embrace, or to mutter an oath of love, but now Susan watched in confusion as he held another close, murmuring sweet nothings in her ear.

From where Susan stood under an old ash tree in her dreams she could see that Caspian's companion was lovely. Her hair was a light auburn, spiraling down her back and catching in the king's grasp as he weaved his fingers through her tresses. The mysterious woman had a musical laugh, icy grey eyes, a perfect body- Susan couldn't help to compare herself, dreamland or not.

She was confused however. Caspian himself appeared older, a man in his prime, and on one such vision Susan spotted him dropping down upon one knee in front of the young beauty, it was enough to break her heart.

She didn't understand it, she felt for him, she still remembered the lingering feel of his lips on hers when she had departed Narnia, Susan wondered if the dreams were an indication that he'd forgotten her. She wondered if he'd ever felt anything for her.

Most of all, Susan speculated if these dreams weren't fantasies at all, perhaps she was viewing the life of Caspian, the man she was falling hopelessly for, the man who seemed to have erased her from his life.

**Near, far, wherever you are**

**I believe that the heart does go on**

**Once more you open the door**

**And you're here in my heart**

**And my heart will go on and on**

A single week later Susan found herself in Caspian's castle after having had a slew of non-Narnian dreams. She felt the familiar rush of adrenaline at being back where the air seemed so much clearer, where she was able to discern her own feelings. Here she could gain control of her emotions for Caspian, they hadn't wavered. She caught her bearings with a gasp, finding herself standing in front of the king's bedchambers, the door shut soundly.

She hesitantly reached for the handle, cringing at the sound as she slipped into the room, knowing in the back of her mind that no one could see or hear her anyway, she was simply an apparition. She paused to look about the room, it was tidy, as was expected, and the balcony doors were flung wide open, an invitation. Susan stopped in front of a looking glass, eyes widening as she realized that she could not spy her reflection- she was invisible, a spirit. Bringing a hand to her mouth she felt her warm breath, she certainly felt as if she was whole. With a shudder she cautiously crept toward the balcony, sunlight and cool air whispering about her face.

A delicious feeling of comfort slipped through her veins as she spotted Caspian leaning along the stone wall, his hair hanging over his face in thought. She came as close to him as she dared, invisible or not, and followed his gaze to the object that was clutched in his grasp. Her horn.

Shock ran cold through her chest and she bit back a gasp. She watched as his fingers traced the glowing ivory, a sign that her legacy had been well taken care of since her last absence. His eyes were filled with so many emotions that Susan felt herself reeling as she attempted to read through each one of them. Her heart began beating rapidly, but abruptly stopped when he whispered a single word to himself. "Susan."

He hadn't forgotten her.

**Love can touch us one time**

**And last for a lifetime**

**And never let go till we're one**

_He smiled gently at her, gripping her hand in his as she gasped at the contact. He chuckled lightly, shaking some dark curls from his eyes as he brought them to meet her own. She felt herself drowning in their depths as he stared into her soul, her heart beginning to race as he pulled her towards him, tugging on her hair as their bodies met in an embrace._

Susan started and she sat up quickly, bringing a hand to her heart where she was convinced the warmth of another body had been. She gave a frustrated sigh as she felt an onslaught of confusion ripping away at her conscious. She hadn't dreamt of Caspian or Narnia in years and she couldn't comprehend his sudden appearance, he looked as he had last she had seen him, holding her horn. She untangled the sheets from where they were twisted about her legs, casting a glance towards the sleeping form of her husband. She felt guilty for dreaming of another man when the one that she swore she would love in this life was right beside her. In this life, what about her other life, with Caspian?

Susan shuddered as she groped for the customary glass of water on her bedside table. A year before she had met her husband she had convinced herself that Caspian had never loved her and that she was never actually in love with him. It had been hard and a challenge, but gradually she grew to forget Narnia as well, but this dream had changed things. Susan was exasperated, she had worked long and hard to forget memories, to be able to marvel at the beauty of earth without comparing it to another place and time.

She had however, realized in that year that she'd forgotten Narnia that Caspian was dead. The time difference was an obvious indication of that and Susan had quietly mourned within herself. If he had not been her love he was still a friend and fellow ruler. At the time she'd given anything to discuss it with her siblings, but her practicality prevented it.

Now sitting amongst her bed linens on a cold spring morning Susan was as baffled as ever. Caspian had reappeared, he hadn't aged, and something was calling her, old feelings of the heart.

**Love was when I loved you**

**One true time I hold to**

**In my life we'll always go on**

Susan had glimpsed Caspian and his son one night long ago. It was before she'd had the dream with her ivory horn, and it weighed on her mind heavily. Caspian was married, he had a child, and yet he thought of her, his whispered word was proof. She'd tried to figure out the meaning of it all, but by the time she was willing to admit that he could truly still have feelings for her she had dismissed the dreams as simply that, dreams.

It wasn't often that Susan reflected upon Narnia after that dream she'd had that spring morning, but there was a nagging feeling that kept telling her that she was not where she belonged. Not with who her heart belonged to. She became thoughtful, then skeptical. Wondering if she really was a woman going insane. It was silly she reasoned to be thinking of a man from her childhood, one as unreachable in so many ways as he. Yet as she thought about her memories, letting them flood back into her mind, she relived the feeling of Caspian's lips on her own, the spark, it had never felt like that with her husband.

**Near, far, wherever you are**

**I believe that the heart does go on**

**Once more you open the door**

**And you're here in my heart**

**And my heart will go on and on**

Her siblings had died some time ago, and that's what everyone blamed for the 'madness' that surrounded Susan Pevensie Smith. They claimed that her mentality had suffered from their deaths on, when in truth it had been withering since she came back from 'Narnia' the strange place she often mumbled about.

She spoke to herself about it often, never her husband, children, or grandchildren, just absent-minded thoughts to blank walls, for her own ears. Doctors asked her husband who Caspian was, who this Aslan fellow could be, where a Cair Paravel was located, and he merely shook his head in confusion.

Susan had always been levelheaded, sane, as far as anyone could tell, but now she was caught up in a fantasy world, and she was losing her sight of reality.

In her head though, Susan knew everything was well, Caspian had been haunting her dreams once more.

The dreams had come sporadically in her later years, but soon as she reached the state she now resided in they became a daily event, one she would marvel over. He was as young as their first meeting and so was she. She didn't suffer coughing fits, didn't feel the pain in her joints as she reached to caress his face, everything was how she had left it and how she had always wanted it.

It went like this for four more years, and during that time she barely moved from her place on her bed. Her husband, when he'd passed not two years earlier, left her for the most part alone, but she'd merely nodded when they'd told her, not heartless, she still hurt, but a different desire was eclipsing this.

On a day in late winter Susan missed her daily dream of Caspian and the Narnia that she loved, and she was beside herself with fear. She couldn't allow herself to let it go again, once she'd had it in her life for this long she was intent on not allowing the memories to fade. She fitfully slept into the morning, and when her daughter came in to check on her- wasn't able to wake her mother's sleeping form.

_Where am I? Susan wondered curiously, eyes flicking over the landscape that stretched far and wide, fields and fields of greenery. She blinked against the blazing sun, but felt no heat on her face, just a gentle breeze. She examined her hands, they weren't mottled with age or veiny, flabby skin, she was young again. She grinned in surprise, that could only mean she was having a dream of Narnia. But that was not what this looked like. "Where am I?" She wondered once more, but this time her voice floated out clearly, voicing her question to the thin air._

"_It is a world between worlds." A voice rumbled somewhere close to Susan's right ear and she recoiled backward with a yell, whirling and wondering where her thick skirts had come from._

"_Aslan!" She cried excitedly as the lion dipped his head and gave a low laugh, nuzzling Susan's hair as she flung herself at him in a hug. Susan couldn't believe it, she hadn't seen Aslan in so long, felt his calming presence in years._

"_My dear queen Susan." Came his response as he stepped backward and stood solidly beside her. "Would you mind walking with me a ways?" He raised his amber eyes to meet her own and Susan nodded happily, digging a hand into his mane as they began traversing through the thick rippling grass._

"_Where are we Aslan?" Susan asked hesitantly as she remembered his words from before: 'A world between worlds'. "I don't understand why I have not seen you for so long."_

"_You have seen someone else in my stead." Aslan responded calmly as he pushed at a flower with his nose as they walked._

"_Caspian?" Susan asked quietly as she fiddled with her bodice and the lion dipped his head modestly._

"_A world between worlds, Susan, is a fascinating place." Aslan continued as Susan glanced away from his searching gaze, forcing herself to forget about Caspian for a moment and focus on Aslan. "It knows no time, and no change, it simply is." He chuckled lightly at Susan's confused brow._

"_I'm not sure I understand Aslan." Susan admitted as she halted on the crest of a small hill._

"_It is not something you need to comprehend dear one, just so long as you listen to what I say next." Aslan sat on his haunches as he shook out his mane and glanced off toward the sun, eyes avoiding Susan's. "It appears that your time in your world is up."_

_There was a pause and Susan blinked, collecting herself. "Up? As in over? I'm…dead?" Susan whispered as she felt the wind knocked from her and she clutched at her chest. "Is this heaven?" She squeaked this last part as she glanced at the never-ending meadow. This was never what she had pictured._

_The lion laughed thoughtfully, "It is true that you are taking your last breaths on earth as we speak, you will die peacefully in your sleep, dreaming this dream." He tossed a glance to there whereabouts and Susan sighed in shock, somehow she had been expecting this day._

"_So I'm in heaven now, dead on earth." Susan muttered disbelievingly as she leaned on Aslan for support._

"_Daughter of Eve, heaven never did exist for Narnians." The lion murmured as Susan looked at him in surprise, but she had known to love this shock, the land of her childhood was never normal. "The world between worlds is where all with ties to Narnia are transported as they succumb to the dark beauty that is death." Aslan said slowly as he nuzzled Susan's head comfortingly. "It is the place that Caspian visited when he passed, and the very one your siblings came to years ago." Susan started at the Telmarine prince's name, but gave an audible gasp when she heard of her brothers and sister._

"_Peter, Edmund, and Lucy?" She asked incredulously as she looked down at the grass with a renewed passion, she never felt closer to her family._

"_The very same." Aslan stated gently as he flicked his tail lazily. "This place can be described as a threshold to the place where true Narnians are transported upon death." He paused as Susan glanced at him sharply. "A place that shall remain unnamed, but can be considered an equivalent of your heaven." He sighed as Susan clutched tighter to him and tears formed in her eyes as she turned to look at him._

_Ignoring the new batch of information as to her whereabouts she opened her mouth to speak, "Am I going to see them now?" She asked shakily as her breath began coming in short gasps of anticipation._

"_In due course dear one, there is still some explaining to do." The lion stood up and continued walking as Susan hurried to follow him, a dull impatience throbbing in her stomach. "There are very few who come from your world and are connected to Narnia." He began as Susan's stomach churned, a question forming in her mind. "Therefore death becomes a complicated thing." He turned as Susan furrowed her brow in thought, crossing her arms as the breeze picked up._

"_What will happen to me if I don't go to heaven, what of the people I knew who belonged on earth, died, and wait for me there?" She asked as thoughts of her parents and late husband flitted through her mind._

"_The very same question your siblings asked of me daughter, and I'm afraid the answer is none to simple." He sighed as he lowered his head. "I will not attempt to explain it to you, but I do offer you this promise. You will meet again with all of your loved-ones in one time or another. You _will_ see them again, never fear." He held her gaze as Susan shifted uncomfortably, but thoughts of her Narnian friends as well as her siblings began invading her mind._

"_My brothers and sisters, they are in this unnamed land?" Susan asked as she glanced hopefully up at the great lion and he nodded his majestic head._

"_Nothing stays the same forever, dear one, have faith that you will find peace wherever you go." Aslan stated wisely as Susan took a shaky breath._

"_As long as you promise that I will be with all those I love in some time I will go wherever I must Aslan, but for now I would very much like to explore this unnamed world." Susan whispered as the lion smiled in acceptance and gave a purr of his promise. With a nod he closed his eyes and breathed out a strand of soft warm air, raising the hair on Susan's neck. She watched transfixed as his breath began swirling near the grass, rising higher and higher until it formed a silver, shimmering, archway. She took a breath as a great golden light shone from it, this was a dream no more._

She took a step toward the light as she felt the familiar anticipation begin growing in the pit of her abdomen, working its way up until she felt as if she would burst out laughing. She took another shaking step toward the archway, but something told her to look back to Aslan who was staring at her somewhat uncertainly.

"There is one more thing you must know before you go, dear one." Susan stopped and turned around curiously, hand clenching in worry.

"Do I have need for fear?" Susan asked haltingly as she glanced at the archway and the mysteries it held behind its swirling façade.

"Not fear dear one, but there is…someone." Aslan said quietly as warmth filled his eyes and Susan cocked her head.

"Who?"

"A man who has been waiting since his death for you, one who has requested that he be the first to see you, I only wish to let you know." The lion smiled and nodded for Susan to go through, but she paused and frowned.

"Why is this man to be the one who greets me?" Susan asked uncomfortably as she shifted from foot to foot.

"He is of great importance to you." The lion smiled as Susan's eyes burned with curiosity. "You have a piece of his heart as he has one of yours."

Susan's stomach clenched, _Caspian_. His name ran through her head, but she shook it away, it surely couldn't be him that Aslan was implying.

As if reading her thoughts, Aslan stood and walked to meet Susan near the entrance of the portal. "It is indeed King Caspian who I speak of." The lion said gravely though his eyes held comfort.

Susan felt a familiar feeling of denial clamp over her heart and she lifted her chin in determination despite the flicker of hope that had sparked in her eyes. "It cannot be." She announced as she felt the breeze encircling her hair and filling her with warmth.

"Love is a strange thing dear one, it surpasses time, and shines in our hearts despite valiant efforts to keep it at bay. You cannot explain it, and you cannot prevent it." Aslan watched Susan's posture slump and he purred at her perplexed expression. "King Caspian loves you as much as you love him. He has been waiting for you since the day you left him, and he is _most_ anxious to see you." Susan shrank back even more, disbelief appearing upon her face.

"But-but his wife." She whispered, hand massaging her heart and blinking rapidly at the onslaught of hope that was overwhelming her heart. "His _son_." She finished breathlessly as Aslan caught her eyes and gave what could only be a smile.

"Though Caspian treasured and cared for his wife immensely, his love was never as pure as his for you. He has told me this himself." He paused as Susan collected herself. "Both realized the obligation of their marriage and they cherished their bond, one that cut a shallower path than a previous one of the king's." Aslan growled in contentment as realization dawned on Susan's face and she gave a small smile. "I also recall that you yourself had children and a husband." The lion reminded the woman gently and she nodded at her memories. "But just because you give a piece of your heart towards others does not mean you have to give up your previous loves. The truest of affections are the ones that last eternal."

"But is Caspian's wife not in this world with him, his son?" Susan questioned confusedly as she clutched at her skirts.

"Rillian, Caspian's son, grew to be a great leader, as was King Caspian, but he does know of you and the love you shared with his father. He respects it, and does not fear it. As for his Caspian's wife…at her death they parted ways forever." Susan looked up sharply and her mouth fell open in a most ungracious manner.

"Whatever could you mean?" She wondered aloud as her blood began pumping noisily in her ears and she gulped.

"A daughter of a star the queen found her place by her father, in the skies." Aslan lifted his chin in the direction of the heavens and gave a small sigh. "They separated on good terms and at Caspian's passing he told me of his intentions to wait."

Susan's voice wavered as she blinked back her tears and already knowing the answer asked the question that was burning in her throat. "For what?" Aslan stood and chuckled, moving behind Susan and giving her a gentle nudge until she was standing within an inch from the archway.

With his golden eyes on hers he nodded his head and she took a step through, one foot in the deliciously warm swirl of magic. His voice rumbled deep, "You." And that was the final word that she heard as she pushed herself through, looking back to see the great lion roaring, the sound ringing in her ears.

**You're here, there's nothing I fear,**

**And I know that my heart will go on**

**We'll stay forever this way**

**You are safe in my heart**

**And my heart will go on and on **

Susan felt as if she was falling, but her trust in Aslan and of what the future held was keeping her from screaming aloud. The air was crisp and cool and she shivered as she shut her eyes, and within seconds her feet touched something soft, and she crumpled. The grass she had fallen on was sweet smelling and warm, eliciting a gentle calm throughout her body. She sighed in contentment and opened one of her eyes. Upon inspection she found her body still young, her garb the same, but her surroundings were new, yet familiar. Without fully comprehending Susan realized that she was in Narnia, or perhaps a ghost of the magical place. She smiled as the sunlight filtered down through the treetops to her, the long branches dancing of their own accord. She was where she belonged. She cast a glance about the clearing, the shrubbery was gorgeous, a butterfly flitted near the flowers, and-oh. Susan caught her breath as her eyes fell on the figure of a man who was walking towards her with a look of awe and joy on his features. His body was as spry as ever and he quickened his pace as she hurriedly sat up and began rushing at him.

They caught each other at the same moment, arms tangling together, wild laughter bubbling in their throats. Tears streamed from Susan's eyes as Caspian pulled back and studied her, thumbs smoothing over her cheeks as he attempted to soothe her sobs.

She could not believe she was here, in his arms. _A dream, this is all a dream._ The thought flitted through her mind, but she shook it away, instead reveling in the warmth of Caspian's body.

"You are as beautiful as ever." He murmured gently as Susan shivered as he smiled at her, so very like her dreams on earth. "Susan." He whispered her name quietly, like a prayer and she closed her eyes as he encircled her waist with his arms, pulling her flush against him. "How I have missed you my dear queen."

"And I you, Caspian." Susan choked out as she grinned as the man chuckled at her wavering voice and the reverence that was held in his name.

"Do you know that I have never forgotten you?" Caspian said once their breaths had slowed and he was soothingly running circles over Susan's back. "Not once when I was married, or when my son was born did I forget your face." He smiled as Susan sighed with contentment.

"How could _I _have forgotten you my liege, there was a time that I tried to…" Susan caught Caspian's somewhat hurt expression as she weakly reminisced on the memories, but she shook her head, slightly irritated, "But that was a mistake. As for the moment… for the moment I am in paradise when you are here Caspian." She mumbled as she fell limply in his arms and he laughed as he swung her around before settling her against his chest.

There was quiet for a minute as they enjoyed each other's presence, recalling that the last they had been in this position was when they thought they'd been separating forevermore. "Do you know that I love you?" Came Caspian's tender question as he squeezed Susan to himself and she caught her breath at his words. "There was never anyone else but _you_." Caspian's throat constricted as Susan's eyes met his and he smiled a simple, crooked grin, "I-I love you." Susan's hand wound away from his grasp and she reached a hand to cup his cheek, tracing his jaw before grinning.

"I love you as well my dear king, and my love for you…in my heart," She placed her hand on Caspian's chest where his own heart beat steadily and true, "will go on and on." She looked up to meet his eyes and shifted under his smoldering gaze, but he caught her gently as he swooped downwards to claim her mouth as his. She got lost in the sensation and smoothed her hands down his arms as his lips poured missing passion into her being as she smiled into the kiss, feeling his breath hot on her cheek.

And from that moment on Susan knew this could not be a dream, for she had not felt anything so real in her entire life.

**Thanks for reading!! TO THE END!! Lol ya I appreciate it, please leave me a review to tell me what u thought! THANKS!!**


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